Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I cry over spilled milk

Yes, it is true.  I am a terrible pumper.  Just am.  I have tried nearly everything and the pump and I, while on friendly terms, will never be the Breast of Friends.  I woke early one morning to pump before work.  It was one of those magical pumps where I was able to express a whole 3oz!

While transferring the milk into a storage bag, I knocked over one of my storage bottles and spilled milk all over the  floor.  I cried.  Literally cried and yelled for my husband to help.  An extreme reactions?  Perhaps.  I can tell people though I cried over  Spilled Milk.

For some mothers, this might not have been a big, heck, a lot of nursing mothers leak everywhere and they are "spilling" milk into breast pads.  Not me.  Breast milk production did not come easy to me (probably the the hardest part of my most unusual delivery) and it remains the most frustrating part of being a new mother.  I just assumed that milk production would be the easier part of breastfeeding.

Hannabert was in NICU as a result of my gestational diabetes; his blood sugar was somewhere around 20 when they admitted him while I was in recovery after a c-section (in which I was knocked out).  He spent the next four days in NICU while I recovered in Mother/Baby.  I knew that it was important to immediately try to get him interested in breastfeeding but I didn't even get to see him for the first 9 hrs.  My husband took some video  of Hannabert in the operating room so that I could share in the moment.  My husband is wonderful.

I knew I was suppose to pump every two hours to help my milk come in but I wasn't really successful.  That was the beginning of my relationship with pumping.

We are now almost five months into our relationship and I have to say, it hasn't really gotten much easier. I pump approximately 4x a day at work and then need to pump before/after Hannabert eats to make enough for him at daycare.  It is stressful but I am committed to trying to provide only breastmilk until he is six months.   So, for now, I will continue to cry over spilled milk.